So my significant other and I went out last night to the bar. I’m kinda new to Lisbon so I didn’t know anyone there. I have met her friend Julia and Carlos before but only once. Well we were talking for a bit and then she started talking about how much she used to get smashed with all her friends at the bar we were at and all the stupid stuff we’ve all done… basically about her past.

For some stupid  reason I had a problem with it last night. A big problem with it. I didn’t want to hear it or picture her like that last night. It ended up in me unintentionally ignoring her which really pissed her off and we got into a huge fight.

Now I’ve known about her past since we met and we’ve even talked about it, and laughed about each others past. I’m 30, she’s 28 by the way. For some reason it’s really started to bother me. I don’t know why because it makes me very hypocritical. Before we met I went to the bar and got pretty drunk almost every night. She’s very much helped me break that and I haven’t been doing it for some time. However it just irritated the me to no end.

Anyway, what the hell? I’ve never really been like this. It’s like I’m jealous or something. Or hell, just am? How the heck do I get over this because it’s gonna ruin our relationship and I love this girl like crazy. She’s really the only person I’ve ever been able to picture marrying.

My friend said maybe I’m just jealous that she has people to connect with and relate to in Lisbon, and I don’t? He thinks it sounds like a dumb reason to get jealous unless it’s something that she still does.  He might be right but it seems like it might be another issue.

When I notice you’re getting upset about something, stop and ask myself why it upsets you. If it was just the two of us at the bar and she was telling me about all the times she got smashed here when she was younger, would I still have been mad?

Unfortunately it’s hard for anyone to say how to fix it if I’m not even sure why it bothers me. Was this a one off thing, or do I  get upset over trivial matters on a regular basis?

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